jojo. in transit.

These things always seem like a long time until you’re reaching the end. And by “these things” I guess I’m referring to..well, a lot of things..let’s see. summer. High school. study abroad. COLLEGE. And most recently, THIS grant.

It’s definitely too early to do a goodbye/what I’m going to miss post, but at this point, it’s definitely time for reflection on my time in India. 

As I look back on my first few months here and the time before the journey began, I’m astounded (and more than slightly ashamed) about how little I actually knew about India—not so much historically, but just factually and culturally. An example: I had no idea why some Indian men wore turbans and some didn’t. I guess I hadn’t ever given it much thought. I think I just assumed wearing one was some sort of personal choice. So….obviously I knew next to nothing about Sikhism. I also didn’t know that India had 14 major languages (and tons more spoken by smaller populations). AND I didn’t know a word of Hindi (aside from Namaste). Needless to say, I came into India as somewhat of a rookie in our lil’ fulbright group. Several from the group had been to India before or studied abroad here. Others had a deep and longstanding interest in the country and/or had taken coursework on India. I, had long been intrigued and fascinated by India, had come to enjoy both Indian food and bollywood films, but had very little knowledge about the country and its people. I am SO thankful to have been placed here. (I had originally applied to Sri Lanka, but my application was switched to India). 

I honestly hadn’t considered seriously applying to India because I felt the competition would be too tough. The statistics from past application rounds showed heavy numbers of applicants with consequently a lot of rejections as well. I also felt that surely so many more people would be more qualified to serve in India than I. So I was shocked, but excited to find out in quick succession that my application was being switched to India and that I had been accepted. 

How does one prepare for 9 months in India? Extensive googling was my method of choice. Blog hunting, of course. Various “what to pack” lists and reading some relevant literature. Sidenote: this isn’t related to my India research—but there’s this website Matador Network that I always really enjoy. I haven’t looked at it much while in India, but in the months when I was searching for post-grad opportunities, I was always browsing the site with SERIOUS travel envy. 

Anyway, there’s nothing I could have done to totally get me ready for India. I mean, I was sufficiently prepared, but I had no idea what this place would be like. It’s pretty intense. When we arrived in July it was crazy, stupid HOT. and worse—Humid. grossness. However, we were sufficiently sheltered for the first month or so from most of Delhi’s craziness. The first week we were put up in one of delhi’s finest hotels. The Taj. What a dream. We still reminisce about the AMAZING buffet breakfast. Talk about luxury. After our in-country orientation, we were swept away to the beautiful hill station of Mussoorie for three weeks of language study. We got small tastes of India’s intensity, but for me it didn’t really hit until we were back in Delhi and finally going to school. The daily grind, commuting, hindi class, ELT class, shopping, walking to places—basically the simple daily tasks and dealing with them in Delhi specifically proved to be an experience in itself. I could write a whole post about walking in Delhi (read: how to avoid falling into holes/getting hit by vehicles) Though..I may not be the best person to give advice about not getting hit by vehicles since I did get hit by a motorbike. WHOOPS. That was months ago, and my scab STILL isn’t completely healed. 

Even though Delhi can be super fast paced, it’s amazing how much patience I’ve had to use here from traffic to complete bureaucracy (UHM, MAKEMYTRIP.COM, I’m talking to you.) Makemytrip is not a terrible site. I personally find the site easy to navigate and really like the way their search system works, but DO NOT GET ME STARTED about their customer service/refunding/complete incompetence. :) Let’s just say I spent probably (and this is a pretty accurate estimate) 20 hrs on hold listening to the WORST saxophone music on a very short loop. barf. I’m having flashbacks. 

The thing I love about living in a new/different place…and coincidentally also kinda hate..is the way it challenges what I know and who I am and how that’s portrayed to other people. Does that make sense? Let me explain. We all think we know ourselves, don’t we? I know what I like, I know what I don’t. I know my personality and my own character. And the knowledge that I know to be true is true, but these are the things that somehow always come into question while living abroad. For one, I know that who I am at school and even with other Indian friends is not as you say “the real me”. It’s a version of myself. A facet of my personality that is used in this particular context. It’s not that I’m fake or not genuine. It’s just that what they get to see of me is fairly surface and it’s clouded by other things like culture and the level of formality that I tend to keep in the workplace. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m sort of crazy. As in, I sing out loud. a lot and very poorly. And I get very, very silly. My coworkers haven’t and probably won’t see that side of me (though hopefully a small peek). Even with my coordinating teacher who I am friends with, she still doesn’t really know my personality. It’s hard to be yourself in conversation when a) you don’t know what people are talking about because it’s in Hindi b) when you do speak, you have to repeat yourself several time c) your jokes are not understood and d) you end up just making polite conversation and asking questions you already know the answer to. (Am I the only one who does that? “So pre-board exams are starting…..Wednesday right?” Yes, they are. I know the answer to that question, but I asked it yesterday anyway just to get some sort of conversation flowing.) 


The other thing that has happened to me while I’m abroad is dealing with assumptions (usually false ones). What happens is someone will state something and ask me if it’s true. And usually it’s something tricky. For example: Many Indians believe (or seem to anyway) that once a kid reaches 16 or 18 (depends on who you’re talking to) American parents basically cut their kids off or make them move out. Teachers at school have asked me if that’s true. And I try to answer diplomatically. This particular question doesn’t require that much of a diplomatic answer, but others do (like how Americans feel about gay rights, are Americans happy with Obama, divorce questions, how workaholic Americans are) I answered the question about children at the age of 18 by saying that it’s true to an extent. Some parents WILL cut off their children, but most won’t. Although more than anything, there is societal pressure for that kid to go to college or get a job and not leech of mom and pop. So after I explain my take on the situation, it always feels like whatever I say goes in one year and out the other. Like people want to hear their ideas confirmed and when they’re not, they just bypass that and keep whatever idea they already had. Like, “Oh, ok. So they cut off their children. That’s what I thought. It’s so sad.” And I’m like wait a second, that’s not…that’s not what I said—-oh nevermind. I’m not strictly talking about India. This happened a lot to me in China as well. 

The other thing that I find difficult, is having to constantly explain how I look in India. It’s REALLY tiring. Constantly hearing that I look Indian is fine, but I’ve exhausted my forced polite smile. And there’s only so many times that I can say “Oh haha, yeah I’m not, but I get that a lot.” Of course, I always have to explain myself in the states too, so it’s not new or anything. In the states it’s more like, “Yeah, I look hispanic. I get that a lot.” Here I say, oh my mom is from a place near the Philippines. And they say, “Oh, right. The Philippines. Yes, my brother-in-law lives in Manila.” And then they proceed to talk about the Philippines and I just smile and nod because of course I know nothing about the Philippines since my mother is from an island that is very near to the Philippines, but shares absolutely nothing with it—culturally, linguistically, politically, etc. 

The other tough thing is that I find that people love to put you in boxes. Like here, my co-teachers love to just talk about me with each other in my presence. They’ll be like oh, she’s SO modest and reserved. She’s very serious about her work. You’re really reserved person, aren’t you? And I’ll be like oh, no. Not really, I’m actually quite—-and by then they’re not even listening or they already have this idea of what I am that they’re not likely to change. And it’s like I THOUGHT I was a pretty fun, friendly person. And I THOUGHT people saw me a certain way, but as it turns out here, they don’t. And I can’t even fully express myself in a way that will show my personality. Because it’s thwarted by misunderstandings, an age/generation gap, cultural differences, language barriers, etc. Now, I don’t want to make it seem like no one understand me here. The Indians that I’m friends with who are my age totally get it. Like, I’m me. And the me that I am at home in the states, for the most part, translates well. So, I think the issues I face being understood by the Indians in my workplace has more to do with the context and a LOT to do with generation I’m talking to there. 

SO, my point of going through all those challenges, was to say that it’s a GOOD thing, nay, a great thing. It’s tiring, yes. But having yourself challenged like that, reminds you of who you are and what you know or reveals something about yourself you didn’t realize. Like, I know that I can be kind of cold when I first people. But usually, people talk to me for a little while and see that I’m nice. (To be clear, I don’t MEAN to be cold. I just know from past experience that it must be true if more than one person has told me that when they first met me they thought I was not nice. I’m making conscious efforts to be more friendly! If anyone reading this ever thought that about me, I’m sorry! I just sometimes get nervous when meeting new people and consequently end up being quiet.) So, I know that I can be cold, and it turns out in these settings, I have to be EXTRA friendly and put myself out there a LOT more because otherwise, I’m the American girl who thinks she’s better than everyone else (pretty sure that’s the first impression people had of me in the workplace. Facepalm. FAIL. When will I learn?)

If you are thinking about studying abroad/working abroad/living abroad. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. No matter where it is, do it. You’ll grow so much as a person and duh, gain tons of knowledge. Furthermore, Europe is awesome. Europe is great. And if your passion is in a western country, then by all means go for it. But if you really want to be challenged, I’d go to someplace like India or China, orrrr anywhere in Asia, really—-or the Middle East—-Africa—Latin America. If you’re thinking about studying abroad, read this. But maybe I’m biased. In Europe, I’ve been to Italy, France, Germany, and Austria. I had a FABULOUS time. And sure, I’d probably love to live there, but I wouldn’t trade the time I’ve spent in China and India for anything. 

I have plenty more to say about the last six months, but no structured way to say what I’m thinking. I’ve already rambled for way too long. I’ll try to think of some short, concise, and informative lines for the next post. But for now, TATA.
JO